It’s got to be someone’s fault. Whenever something happens that we don’t like we look for someone or something to blame. When things go wrong we must find fault. It’s naturally. Equally natural is our refusal to consider how our own actions may have led to the unfortunate situation. Not only is it natural for us to find fault it is natural for us to abandon reason in effort to ensure that fault lies at someone else’s doorstep. Someone or something has to blamed it just cant be me.
Why can’t it be me? I’m a good person, at least in my head. I didn’t mean harm. I wasn’t trying to do wrong. My good intentions should spare me any responsibility for errors in my actions or decisions. If I’m late for work, it’s not my fault. It was traffic. I hit every red light on the way in. It was the really slow guy in front of me who insisted on driving the speed limit the whole time. It’s their fault. Not mine. Things happen. That’s understandable. Sometimes there are things outside our control that get in our way.
Life is messy. Life happens. Failure to plan and prepare for the messiness of life is as much our fault as it is the fault of “life” for getting in our way. Rather than owning up to our part we often take the wrong and we project fault and blame on external sources rather than looking at our own internal responsibility. Maybe the real reason we were late is we tried to leave the house at the lost possible second and in so doing failed to a lot time for “life” to slow things down.
When it comes to justifying why you are a few minutes late to work or to a meeting such displacement of guilt is not so problematic. Rarely does our blame game stop with external, non-human factors. Blame is like a drug we feed off. It’s starts out small, with minor and relatively harmless justifications. If left unchecked that same refusal to take responsibly spirals out of control. It easily grows to the point where were incapable of seeing our fault because we slowly, strategically blinded ourselves to it one step at a time.
Blame creates division and offense. It doesn’t solve problems. It doesn’t heal wounds. It just makes us feel better because we deceive ourselves with it.
Blame comes from a failure to take responsibility for our own actions. Thus forcing us to find something else to be the cause of our problems. Our culture is obsessed with placing blame. It sees blame everywhere but rarely takes responsibility anywhere.
Blame solves nothing. Blame changes nothing. Look at Adam and Eve in the Garden after eating the forbidden fruit. God asks Adam what he has done. Adam blames Eve. Eve blames the serpent. No one took responsibility. Yet they were both held accountable.
It takes courage to admit fault. The reason we do it is not because it’s fun. We admit fault, we take the responsibility because that is what allows us to mature and grow. That is what starts the process of change. Responsibility changes us. Blame keeps us swirling the toilet of the same mistakes. Which would you rather do? Move on, or swirl around the bowl again and again?